The Truth About Lies

Funny how things come full circle. I started this blog almost a year ago, mainly as a way to purge my thoughts of a house guest from hell, a “friend” who had created a web of lies he called a life, but showed his true self during a visit to my home. Due to my connections with this person, I didn’t want to put him on blast, to out him to our social circle which included people from non-profit organizations we both worked to help (or so I thought). I had my blog, my safe place to purge, to vent. However, in the past year this person’s web of lies came crashing down around him. Grains of truth started to pour throw the cracks as his lies crumbled. It wasn’t long before he was excised from my social circle, I had hoped for good.

The thing about people whose life a life built on lies, they rarely stay gone for long. They believe their lies and believe if they repeat them to enough be people, others will be believe them too. This person resurfaced last week. He is spreading more lies, playing the victim and attempting to discredit a lot of good people and the work they do. He is nothing but a con man and attention whore. And to further his lies, he is involving thousand of people via social media. People who have been shielded from his true self, who myself and others have not wanted to drag into the drama, as we have truth on our side. But he went there. He posted all over social media lies for no reason other to make himself the victim. Why do people do that? Why must adults act like children for the sole purpose of attention.

And the clean up is exhausted. Answering questions, defending yourself and others. Providing proof of your actions, actions taken to protect a group, actions you never thought would be questioned or turned into something so far off the mark it unrecognizable. But I will say, for those to take a step back, who looks at how both sides handle the situation, actions to speak louder than words. Some “friends” may have been lost along they way, but in reality, they were not friends. They were associates of convenience. People who were easily swayed, some by the drama that certain people are drawn to. Some with misplaced loyalty for a liar. The latter, they will one day be burned the way I was…and maybe they too will start a blog as a way to cope.

Advertisements

To be a kid again

Recently I was sick, a virus that hung on and morphed into bronchitis. What I have noticed about being sick like this as an adult, you don’t rebound from even a common cold like you do when you are young. Little kids can be sick, with a fever and every symptom known to man, take a dose of medication, a nap and they are good as new. I’ve determined for every sick day, it takes at least two days to recover…I’m still working on my recovery nearly 2 weeks in.

This got me thinking about the other things about being a kid that, in the moment, we take for granted but as adults we would love. Naps, kids HATE naps, fight naps and long for the day when they are no longer required to nap. I for one would LOVE to have nap time every day. A break to rest and recharge, my guess is my old ass wouldn’t be struggling to say up for the evening news if that was the case.

Next up: food. Sure, I could pay someone to plan and prepare my meals, but that is not realistic to the majority of us. Often kids complain about that is prepared for them, three meals a days, plus snacks, with no though or effort on their part. Half the time I skip breakfast simply because I run out of time while trying to get ready for work and leave the house on time. The “what’s for dinner” question is beyond dreaded for me at times. I go through phases when I do weekly meal planning and shop accordingly to ensure all the items needed are in the house. Yes, those weeks go much smoother and I know that is what I should do, but life happens and sometimes that planning just doesn’t happen.

Bills & Work. As a kid I woke up in my room, in my comfy bed. I was fortunate to never worry about where I would sleep or if the power would be on. Most kids are like I was and take those things for granted. Not having to work, to have everything you need or want provided for you. Being an adult, unless independently wealthy or a lottery winner (neither which apply to me), you must get a job to earn the money to provide all of that for yourself and often, others in your family. What a crock! I want to go back to having it all with no pressure to provide for it. I want to go back to the days when school was my ‘job’. I took for granted the benefit of experts sharing their knowledge with me and teaching me something new everyday. Back then I hated to spend my hours learning and reading, now I complain about having no time to simply read a “real book” and taking a class is a luxury and  expense I can’t afford right now.

Time with friends. As a kid you spend your days with your friends in school and playing after. Roller skating or the mall, maybe even a sleepover. Life was great. As adults, often your friends are spread across the country or even the world. We keep in touch via social media or the occasional get together. Even spending time with your local friends is tough with work and family obligations what used to planned in passing after class now required months of planning ahead to ensure schedules or child care are covered.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and short of that winning lottery ticket, there isn’t much I would change, but there are times that I think about how nice the freedom of youth would be…and a nap.  But on the upside, being able to drink wine and eat ice cream for dinner is a pretty nice trade-off.

ENOUGH

Be forewarned, this is a liberal rant, as it was either write a blog or lose my shit on Facebook, as there has been a lot of stupid posted the past several days. I am not one to only be friends with people who think exactly as I do. That being said, this means that sometimes there will things others post that not only do I not agree with, but I want to reach though my computer screen and throat punch them for their stupidity. However, I have a rule, if they post something on their wall, no matter how much I disagree with it, I will not get into a debate. Their wall, their opinion. I usually go on by, just ignore it or if it something share from some ultra conservative site, I block all post from that site, not the person show shared. Today I found I was using the “snooze” option, which keeps a person’s post from hitting my timeline for 30 days, in hopes  they will come to their senses during that time. Now, if someone either shares to my wall or comments on a post I have made attacking my position with theirs, then it’s on like Donkey Kong and I will debate til the cows come home.

There is a lot going on in this country to be upset about. For the life of me I can’t wrap my head about anyone being AGAINST making our schools safer. Arming teacher is not the way to do this, but stronger gun laws and  making certain kinds of assault style weapons illegal are steps in the right direction. By the way, neither of those things takes anyone’s guns from them, as long as they own them legally, of course.  Anyone who is willing to go online and mock the brave, well-meaning and well spoken survivors of one of the most recent school shootings well, there is no reason for us to remain friends, in real life or on the internet.

Next up, abortion rights. Remind me, what year is it? Why are we still debating, arguing and spending tax payer money on this LEGAL procedure? Has the US population been  stalled by all the mass abortions that have taken place since Roe vs Wade? NO, it has not. Just like who I marry has zero impact on your marriage, one woman’s decision to terminate a pregnancy for her own personal reasons has zero impact on your ability to have one or a dozen kids if you so wish. I have never had an abortion and personally, I don’t think if faced with that decision I could do, but it’s my body and it would and SHOULD be my choice. There are so many other issues that need to be addressed in our state and federal governments, this is issue that was decided by the Supreme Court DECADES ago.

And last, but certainly not least….that fool occupying the Oval Office pretending to be President. I had hoped that either this man would pull his head out of his ass and lead this country with a level of respect for the office he holds or that the GOP leadership would have a set of balls between them and hold him accountable for his actions. Neither has happened and each week is just more embarrassing examples of how Trump is making a mockery of this great nation. From trade wars to his porn star mistress on 60 Minutes, its endless. 15 months in, more turnovers than any administration before him, dozens of positions simply unfilled, which no names even being submitted. Its like the Oval Office is nothing more than a reboot of his crappy TV show. And now, the new folks he is bringing in are from cable news shows, people who have given him good press. Most men are led by their penis, this orange nightmare is led by is ego…and that makes for a very unstable world leader.

So, enough already. Just STFU, if you don’t know what that means, Google it 😉 … you are giving me a headache!

 

Nope…no motivation here.

We all have those days when we are not motivated. Be it work, exercise, social obligations, we just lack the motivation to get up and get going. My husband is one to say its the inertia we lack, that once we get to where ever it is we were dreading to go, we have a wonderful time and don’t regret going. I tend to agree, but of late, this lack of motivation has reached a near chronic level.

One of the hallmarks of psoriatic arthritis is fatigue.  Not just “being tired”, but fatigue to a point of pain. I have often said this symptom is worse than the joint pain, as pain can be managed or you can modify your life to avoid it to a point, but there is no managing to avoiding fatigue when it sets in. And for me, when it sets in, my motivation for everything just seems to disappear.  Even as I sit here writing this blog, I had no true motivation to do so. I hate this feeling, this feeling that everything is too much of an effort. I love my life and truly enjoy being part of it, but right now, life seems like a huge burden.

What I have found funny lately is when I was heavier some would say that was the reason for my fatigue or lack of motivation. As if simply “being fat” was too much of a burden to overcome. Yes, here I am, 30 lbs lighter and I am feeling more sluggish and without motivation than I ever was before. I have talked to my doctors, as logically this must have a medical root. The rush of endorphins from a work out no longer seems to help like they once did. Without that “instant pay off”, I am finding it harder to convince myself that an afternoon walk or yoga class is worth the effort. This is a dangerous cycle at this point in my life style shift from binge watching couch potato to active member of society. I want to continue on my weight loss journey and maintain my more active lifestyle. I’m still losing weight, not as much as I was and maybe that slowing of progress is adding to may lack of motivation.

And the weather… it’s officially Spring as of yesterday. The weather should be warming, the grass should be greening and flowers should be blooming. But no, not here, we have SNOW! Not a light dusting, but measurable accumulation that closed schools. This doesn’t help my lack of motivation. The thing about living in the South, even the northern part were we do have a winter, is that the long, cold, gray months of winter come to an end. You eventually get the beauty of Spring, renewal and with that the hope that motivation comes with it. Another winter storm is the last thing I needed!

 

 

 

30….My new favorite number

I have a love/hate relationship with my FitBit. I hate when it tells me to get my lazy ass up and move when too tired or sore to do so. I also hate that the GPS in my building is horrible and when I walk, my FitBit doesn’t given me credit for the actual distance. But when I love my FitBit, I REALLY love it….like when I get these awesome emails congratulating me on a milestone.

I hit 30 pounds lost! YAY ME!!! I was worried, since I actually hit this the day before I went on my recent vacation, knowing I would have a gain. But the gain was minimal and I am happy to report I lost all of that in the past week, so I am back to my 30 pounds lost. I am feeling better, so I’ve gotten back to walking this week and for the first time in weeks, I went to yoga last night.

I am still new to yoga and let me say, I LOVE it! I do feel it is a good workout, not cardio level, but the stretching and balance work have been really helpful for me. Plus, just taking the time for me, mid-week, really seems to recharge me and help me finish the week off with more energy.

Funny thing about my weight loss, I guess since in my mind I have “so much” more to lose, I have downplayed my accomplishment. I see the changes, but not as much as others do. I am so lucky to have friends, like my dear sweet friend Kimmie, who keep me motivated by telling me how much they notice. Hitting 30 I realized that is a big deal. That is more than I’ve lost in the past several years, I’ve lost up to 20-25, but something about the big 3-0 makes a true statement. And, I’m more than half way to my goal, so that is a good feeling too.

Here is to the next milestone & a loving message from my frienemy, FitBit!

 

Respect

My morning commentary:

On the drive into work I heard a story about how we need approximately 3 MILLION home health workers to care for our aging population. 1/4 of the current labor force in this sector are immigrants. Sadly, these are considered “unskilled jobs”, which says a lot about how we in the US view our elders and those who need help.

As I listened, a few things came to mind:

1. Immigrant populations are raised to respect & honor their elders, so it is only logical that they are drawn to this type of worked, skilled or not.

2. Currently these workers make minimum wage or slightly more, many are part-time workers with no benefits. A Trump supporting/anti-immigration man interviewed stated that if the jobs were to pay more and the workers received more respect, then American born workers with “limited education” would gladly fill these positions. HMMMMMM…. so, its ok to pay immigrant workers next to nothing, with no benefits and treat them like crap, but if you want the dumbest Americans to take those jobs, you need to pay them more, given them benefits and treat them with respect. WTF? Once again this proves that immigrants are not coming to this country to take jobs FROM Americans, they do the jobs many Americans feel they are too good to do.

3. How about this: TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT! Teach kids from an early age to respect their elders and those who need our help. Don’t make these jobs the most undesirable in the labor market for anyone who is willing to do the work of CARING for our aging population.

I’m climbing down from my soapbox now…thanks for listening

Post Vacation Blues

For the first time ever, the hubs and I went on a vacation together. Don’t be too shocked, we have only been married 4 years and have done long weekends away. With the responsibilities of “adulting”, choosing new puppies and  buying a new house, we haven’t had the extra money to fly away someplace. I know for some that is unheard of, they can’t live without that annual vacation to tropical location, but for me I would much rather have my dogs and my house. I guess I am more of a homebody than most would assume. I like traveling, experiencing new places and adventures, but often I have to push myself to commit to a trip. One of the big bonuses of my recent travels  has been I have met folks in real life that I have met via the internet in various groups of common interests. I’m happy that,  to date, with one exception, all  of the meetings have been better than I could have hoped for. I told my husband that I would love to plan travel around meeting with more “friends”, I’m lucky he is open to that and doesn’t think me crazy for wanting to do so.

Along with being away from the dogs, the hardest part of vacation is coming back. For us, this trip was in a warm, sunny location with picture perfect weather every second of every day. While at home, there was non-stop rain and flooding, to the point we sat  poolside having breakfast while watching footage of flooding at home on the Weather Channel. We came back to the same cold, rainy weather we left the week before. And with that, for me, the aches and pains of my arthritis.

Then you have the work factor. That reality is the hardest to come back to. From facing the alarm after sleeping in, if you choose, morning traffic and  the dreaded backlog of emails there is nothing good about the post-vacation days at work. Each day I have felt out of sorts, overwhelmed and exhausted. And today, COLD! It’s freezing in my office, just a cruel reminder that time last week I was sipping a fruity drink by the pool.

Another downfall of vacation is the vacation from the diet & exercise routine. I was really worried about stepping on the scale when I got back, but I’m happy to report that with all the yummy food and amazing adult beverages, I only gained one pound! I guess all the walking we did helped keep me in check more than I realized. But I’m back on the plan, drinking my water instead of rum runners, eating healthy choices vs. decadent gourmet meals and working out on schedule. I will get that pound and then some off this week!!!