I will start by saying, I am not rich. I have never been rich and unless I happen upon a winning lottery ticket, I will never be rich. I have a nice life, a wonderful husband, a lovely home with all the comforts I could want or need, my dream car and enough extra cash to have fun. Would having more money make life better? Hmmmmm….maybe not better, but surely easier at times. However, if one were to chat with my rich friends, your answer would be a resounding NO, life is very hard for the poor little rich girls in my world… bless their hearts.
First up, my friend Jane. It’s been a while since I posted about Jane and her nightmare blended family life. One reason for that is Jane has been on vacation for a month. That is no typo folks, she has been on vacation for a MONTH. And not just any vacation, but she spent a month, sans her step-kids (and for the most part her husband as well), on Martha’s Vineyard, the summer destination of many well off New Englanders. Jane is a transplant from the northeast who happened to land in the south and marry a rich southern gentleman. To keep her sanity, Jane has to flee the sugar sweet life she feels disconnected from and spends weeks on end where she feels comfortable and at home. I’m not hating on Jane for being able to take a month off and stay in a wonderful house on the beach eating seafood and sipping wine at sunset; I would do that in heartbeat if I could. What I am hating on is the fact that less than 12 hours after returning home she is not only complaining about everything, but she is sick. Yes, sick, her thought is the stress of returning to her blended family life is making her sick. Insert eye-roll here.
Apparently one of Jane’s childhood friends who she spent some time with while away hurt her little rich girl feelings. I should mention that Jane did not grow up with money, far from it. She was poor, not even middle class, but welfare poor, most of her life before meeting her husband. The friend in this story had money growing up, so this is a rich girl on rich girl “crime”. Seems Jane’s childhood friend, after a few too many glasses of wine, told Jane she was being showy and rubbing it in how wonderful life is, while not realizing how her friend is struggling. Now, let’s keep in mind this friend lives in a house her parents bought her, so no mortgage and has no real bills. She works making a decent living, so there is no “struggle”. Jane was hurt, which I guess I can understand, but come on, Jane talks about what she has and how much money they have spent on Dick’s kids ALL THE TIME. I don’t think she realizes how much she does, I don’t think many rich person realizes how much they actually talk about their wealth. I tend to ignore it when she brings it up to me. My friendship with Jane is not based on what she has, but who she is and the common thread of being stepmoms.
I was at a loss as to what to say to her, other than to point out that maybe that friendship had run its course, simply knowing someone since you were 12 doesn’t mean you will friends as adults. People grow and change. I also think there are those people who tend to like to have friends who are in a lesser role than them. Be it rich people with a poor friend, skinny people with a chubby friend or the happily coupled with the forever single friend, they like having that person they feel looks up to them due to them being able to achieve that which the other person can’t seem to. In this case, the friend was always rich and Jane was the poor friend. Now that Jane has money as well, the playing field is level and the friend doesn’t like it. Jane serves no purpose to her any longer. So, I say be done with her.
The other poor little rich girl is a friend who complains about how hard it is to have the fabulous life she has. Today she actually whined about how all she wants to is float in her pool. Are you kidding me! I am at work, in an office, she works from home, when she wants to and travels, voluntarily, for work monthly. I suggested she cut out the travel, as that has to be exhausting and means being away from home. She want to convert her home work space into a guest house of sorts so she can have live in help to watch her dogs when she travels aboard. And she is not talking vacationing, her plan is to buy a second home aboard where she would spend a good part of her time. She lives in one of the most wonderful of southern cities, so her life seems like an endless party, nothing one would have sympathy for. She also didn’t grow up with money and unlike Jane, she and her husband have busted their asses to have what they do. I don’t begrudge them anything, I just had to laugh that on the same day both women came off as complaining about their wonderful lives!
No matter how close you are to someone, you never know everything that is going on in their lives. Unless they are a chronic complainer, most people only share the better parts of their life with the world, so any complaining can seem over the top by comparison. In both cases the fabulous lives they share by be far from the whole story. I hope their lives are as great as I assume, as both deserve that. I guess I wish they and other with a more charmed existence would be more mindful when they “complain” about their lives being hard. For now, I will continue on with my middle class life, without month long vacations, floating in my pool or traveling the world and try not to complain about it….too much.